Leaders need to “Show Up”

I have a recommendation for you today. Read the book “The Four-fold Way: Walking the paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary” by Angeles Arrien. I’ve found the philosophies presented in this book to be of extreme value to both leaders and followers. 1. Show up and choose to be present. 2. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning. 3. Tell the truth without blame or judgment. and 4. Be open to the outcome.

Everyone needs to ‘show up’ and be fully present in any situation. That’s not an easy thing to do. Our minds hop around like frogs, remembering things we’ve forgotten to do, wishing we were somewhere else, or attending to a myriad of little details that have nothing to do with the event of the moment. Showing up and being fully present requires a great deal of focus. Even while writing this paragraph I’ve walked away from the computer to let the cat out, close the door the dog left open and turn off the fan because I was cold. Just because I say to ‘focus’ doesn’t mean I can accomplish it all the time!

Paying attention to what has heart and meaning for you is a double-edged sword. First you must be able to identify what has heart and meaning for you. Have you found your great passion? Do you KNOW why you are here on this earth and what you are supposed to do? If not, it’s time to find out. The second half of the situation is for you to pay attention to what has heart and meaning to others. It’s that ‘inclusion’ I talked about last week. It’s time for you to realize that other people have other issues/concerns they have great passion about and theirs is not always the same as yours!

Tell the truth without blame or judgment. OOO….that’s a tough one. Remember the phrase “if everyone did what I said, when I said, how I said…..” Yep, truth without blame or judgment does NOT fit with this philosophy. It’s time to remember the window of the world you see out of is quite different than other people’s windows. Telling the truth without blame or judgment recognizes other peoples’ truths may be quite different than yours. Be ready to hear and recognize their truths.

Be open to the outcome (not attached to it). I’m getting better at this, but it’s still hard. I’ve created a plan. I have a certain result of my plan that I expect to occur since I’ve created an elegant plan. My plan many times does not account for all the miscellaneous other forces alive and well in the world. Sometimes my plan has contingencies, sometimes not. Regardless, I need to be able to flex with ‘the plan’. I had a plan to visit a friend this morning. The time for us to meet is fast approaching (5 minutes) and the dryer repairman has not arrived. Guess I’ll have to reschedule this anticipated meeting.

This is a disappointment, but I have learned to believe that sometimes we have changes occur for a reason. Those reasons are not always clear, but I’m being open to the outcome today. Just one more time. Give it a try. Let me know what outcomes occur that just might have been better than what you planned!

Are You a Leader?

I feel compelled at this point in learning to “get over it” to define just actually who is a leader. You might be thinking “I’m not a leader, so this doesn’t apply to me.” Wrong. You ARE a leader. Everyone is a leader at some time in their lives in some capacity.

First, you are the leader of your own life. You make choices each and every day that have an impact on your life, and many times the lives of others. That officially puts you in a leadership role.

Second, those of us who are attached to our families serve in a leadership role. This could be wife, husband, sister, brother – I could list a whole host of family positions that find themselves in leadership roles of one kind or another.

Third, you may be a leader in your church, volunteer organizations or in your community. Your leadership role may be official with a title and a list of responsibilities attached, or your role may be as an unofficial leader. You might be a person that everyone watches to see how you respond to a situation, and then others respond in kind.

So, who is a leader? All of us. Each and every one of us. Are we all leaders at the same time? No. We take turns; some choose to be in leadership roles and others are leaders by circumstance. Regardless of how we find ourselves in a leadership role I hope you find words to help you in this blog. Remember my mantra; There’s Rhyme, Reason and Purpose to Everything – Pay Attention! Looking forward to next week!

my new blog

Hello everyone! Many of you have heard me talk about a book on leadership that I’ve been writing. Now that I’ve finished the first draft and my personal editor has done some work on it, I’ve decided to share some of my thoughts on leadership through a blog site. I’m inviting you to take a look and if you like, share it with others in your network. I’ll be posting once a week, generally on a Tuesday or Wednesday. You can find me at http://jtappp828.wordpress.com/
Enjoy!

The leader who is always ‘right’

“If everyone did what I said, when I said, and how I said, then everything would be just fine.” anonymous
This statement came from a pompous, arrogant, very rich and very lonely man. The sad truth is he only verbalized how so many of us either think or behave. I know, you are thinking “I’d never say anything like that! I’m an inclusive person and I want to know what everyone thinks about a situation before making a decision.”
Get real. I know better. I’m horrified at the statement, but as a strong leader I can’t resist the urge to express my opinions and I often find myself in leadership roles even when I didn’t choose them. I’m a strategic thinker which often leads me to correct conclusions (when I have all the data I need). Therefore, I’m most often right. So can you ‘hear’ me thinking “If everyone did what I said, when I said, and how I said, then everything would be just fine”?

I work daily to ‘get over’ the urge to make statements like this or even to act like this. It’s so abhorrent to me. I have LEARNED to include others. And when I include others I hear different perspectives than I would have thought of on my own. I am a strategic thinker, and by virtue of that it is a natural gift for me to see all kinds of options then come to the most logical conclusion quickly. It has been a learned response for me to ask others what they think.
Are you one of those ‘follow me and I’ll lead you down the correct path’ leaders? Do you need to learn to include others? This is another step in the ‘get over it’ phase. No one got where they are by themselves. Somewhere along the road you had help from someone. Get over it. Include others even after you get to the top of your game.

How to “Get Over It”

Mark Twain has said: “Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.” So true. You’ve found yourself in a situation where you have continual disagreements with your boss or your co-workers. I’ve shared before that there are just some times when you have to ‘get over it’. So how do you do that? 1. Get more information about your colleagues. Just maybe understanding them a little better will help you with your disagreements. 2. Make the statement: “I’m sure you’ve thought of this before, but what happened when you tried ‘x’?” This shows respect for the person’s ability to think through problems and try different solutions and doesn’t tell them you think they are a total idiot for not having tried your idea. 3. Cool down and wait it out. Sometimes the passage of time and the natural changes that occur will unravel or solve what seems like a major issue, which changes the issue to something that is so small it’s not a hill worth die-ing on.

Get Over It!

As much as we’d like to believe there’s a perfect job in a perfect world; that isn’t true. No one individual is perfect, therefore no job is perfect and for sure the world is not perfect. Get Over It! Everyone will have people and situations they disagree with and everyone will have those moments when they feel maligned and mis-used. In many cases the greater part of valor is to work your way through disagreements and disappointing situations. Often, those who work through it come out on the higher ground while those who have chosen to give us a hard time find hard times themselves. Those individuals who can work their way through difficulties often find an opportunity to shine. It’s just part of the general laws of the universe: good follows bad follows good and on and on adinfinitum. Get over the thought the world is perfect and learn to cope with imperfections.

My Philosophy

I’ve developed an over-arching philosophy over my 35+ years in leadership. “Get Over It – Bloom Where You’re Planted – Leave”. I’ve done all three. No person or situation is perfect. Get over it. There will always be something you just flat out have to learn to live with. Bloom Where You’re Planted: I’ve seen too many people job-hop from one place to another. They leave before they’ve had time to figure out the lay of the land and define their place in an organization. Stay long enough to get to the point you are ‘blooming’. And if you’ve gotten over it, bloomed and then discover it’s time for the next part of your journey – well, then it’s time to leave. That’s what this blog site is all about. Stay tuned for more as we walk through my journeys!

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